While the majority of gender socialization happens in childhood, this subtle instruction continues throughout life and can come from a variety of sources, such as family traditions, authority figures, and media trends.
Gender socialization is a term used to talk about the ways that children of different genders are raised and the expectations that are taught to them.
This article will cover the basics of what this term means, give some common examples, and discuss the ways that gender socialization affects how we understand gender.
Gender socialization is the process by which children learn, develop, refine, and perform the roles and expectations of their assigned gender. In Western cultures:
- Infants with a vagina are traditionally assigned the gender of “girl.”
- Infants with a penis are traditionally assigned the gender of “boy”
- Infants with intersex variations are not traditionally recognized, and may be given surgeries to better align with the expectations of their “closest gender.”
Gender socialization can be taught to children by members of their family, their peers, popular media, or their community at large. It can involve many aspects of someone’s life experiences, such as:
- encouraged activities and hobbies
- accepted behavior
- career and work prospects
- spiritual roles and opportunities
- fashion and self-expression
- support structure and mental health
While the bulk of gender socialization happens as children, it can change and grow throughout your life.
For example, as boys age, they may talk with their father or trusted authority figures about what it means to “be a man.” While they will each arrive at a different answer, the process of defining it for themselves can be a large part of their transition from adolescence to adulthood.
Sex vs. gender: Language matters
This article utilizes many terms that reference sex or gender. Here’s a quick breakdown:
- Female: Clinical term for one human sex variation, denoting XX chromosome structure.
- Male: Clinical term for one human sex variation, denoting XY chromosome structure.
- Intersex: Clinical term for a group of human sex variations including XXX, XXY, and other chromosomal structures.
- Woman/girl: Cultural term for one gender; qualifications are varied and personal.
- Man/boy: Cultural term for one gender; qualifications are varied and personal.
- Nonbinary: Cultural term that can be used as a collective term for genders that fall outside the men/women binary or to indicate a specific gender with personal qualifications.
- AFAB: Sociology term for someone who was raised as a girl, whether or not they currently identify with that gender. The acronym stands for “Assigned Female At Birth.”
- AMAB: Sociology term for someone who was raised as a boy, whether or not they currently identify with that gender. The acronym stands for “Assigned Male At Birth.”
Within sex groups, there’s a huge variety in the way the natural human body develops, so the only way to tell for sure what sex you are is to have your chromosomes mapped. This procedure is not typically done at birth unless there’s an unrelated concern for genetic disorders.
Instead, doctors typically make an educated guess based on the newborn’s genitalia; this is why it is said that gender and sex are “assigned” at birth rather than “determined.”
Learn more about intersex variations and how they can be classified or dismissed at birth.
As children grow up, they are constantly absorbing information about how the world works and what their place is in it. But exactly what they’re taught can vary quite a bit between genders.
Teachings around gender roles were often prevalent in past generations. Examples include differing formalized educations across boys’ and girls’ scouting organizations or classes in etiquette for girls and chivalry for boys.
Today, it’s much more likely that children absorb gender roles through watching the trusted adults around them, from depictions in popular media, and from interactions with their peers. While these forms of education are more subtle, they can sometimes still be quite rigid.
The exact specifications of these gender roles can vary across cultures, regions, and time periods. Different families may also have drastically different gender roles based on their personal or religious values.
With that in mind, these are some of the ways that gender expectations frequently contrast in Western countries:
| Socialization for AFAB people | Socialization norms for AMAB people |
| respect and value the emotions of others and themselves | dismiss or repress emotions in themselves and others |
| prioritize the well-being and goals of others | prioritize their own goals and well-being |
| encouraged to be nurturing and cooperative | encouraged to be competitive and dominant |
| clothing options prioritize less durable and more form-fitting designs | clothing options prioritize durability and comfort |
| expected to take on unpaid work | expected to work for money |
| expected to have and raise children | expected to provide for their family financially |
| value commonly tied to beauty | value commonly tied to talent |
| popular toys prepare them for domestic activities like cooking or cleaning sets | popular toys include action figures, vehicles, or weapons |
| encouraged to study art or humanities courses | encouraged to study math and science courses |
| beauty standards prioritize cosmetics and diet culture | beauty standards prioritize strength and workout culture |
While modern understanding of gender roles is typically less restrictive than in past centuries, it can sometimes be a limiting factor in someone’s understanding of what gender is or of themselves.
Children of any gender could be kept from developing their full potential if their interests are outside their gender norm, and uncompromising gender socialization can also have other negative effects, such as:
Discrimination: Adhering to strict gender roles and expectations can encourage discrimination against any gender and put stress on individuals. Bullying also commonly focuses on gender; for example, “you throw like a girl” is used to imply weakness.
Depression: If children grow up unable to fulfill the “qualifications” of their gender, it could lead to self-esteem issues, depression, or other mental health conditions. This can be clearly seen in the increased rates of depression and suicidality in LGBT youth.
Dysphoria: Children of any gender could develop dysphoria if they do not feel that their bodies are developing in line with the expectations of their gender. Transgender children could feel alienated from themselves when not allowed to pursue their interests.
Distortion: Those raised to believe that gender is determined by biology may be given limited or incorrect information about human biology. This can hold them back in science-related courses and fields and lead to larger misunderstandings about what gender is. These teachings can also erase the rich history of different genders across nonwhite cultures.
Gender stereotypes are harmful to everyone
Minority gender groups may often lead the charge in changing gender stereotypes, but restrictive ideas about gender can be harmful to anyone — as highlighted by the attacks on Imane Kalif during the Paris 2024 Olympics.
Yes, our sense of gender is always changing and evolving. Currently, there is a small but growing group of parents who are choosing to raise their children without gender.
These parents typically use they/them pronouns when referring to the child and give them a gender-neutral name. The child’s anatomy is kept private to only parents and caregivers.
Children are allowed and encouraged to pursue all the healthy activities and forms of self-expression that naturally draw their attention, regardless of the gender that it’s traditionally associated with.
They’re not prohibited from exploring any age-appropriate aspects of gender, nor are they required to uphold them.
If the child is drawn to a gender expression as they grow up, their parents and community will then adjust to the name, pronouns, and other gendered language that the child prefers.
Gender socialization refers to the way that children are taught the different aspects of their gender roles as they grow up. These teachings can be formal or informal and can come from their parents, peers, popular media, and others.
While past societies have often created firm and limited gender roles for men and women, modern societies are dissolving rigid gender roles while also making room for nonbinary forms of gender expression. You can learn more about the gender binary in this article.