Personality traits are essentially the same in children as adults. But children typically experience more change and growth than adults do. Discovering their personality is a big part of growing up.
One of the most interesting and gratifying parts of parenting is watching your baby grow and develop their own personality. The word “personality” refers to a set of traits and behaviors that influence how a person approaches life. Although you may notice various characteristics in your child, it can be challenging to piece them together into a complete picture.
A predetermined set of personality types, like the Big Five, may help you better describe your toddler’s personality, though it helps to remember that every child is different and these factors may not describe your child completely.
Here’s more about the Big Five personality traits and how you can use them to help you better understand your toddler’s budding personality.
The Big Five personality traits are also known as the Five Factor Model (FFM). They provide a framework for understanding distinct characteristics that are part of a person’s personality. While various researchers contributed to the development of the Big Five over the years, psychologists Paul Costa and Robert McCrae helped to popularize it in the 1990s.
When viewing toddler behavior through the Big Five, it’s important to recognize a couple things.
First, the traits were developed originally for adults. Researchers explain that children’s personalities tend to change as they grow and experience new situations.
Second, the Big Five traits exist on a spectrum (a range) versus a binary (this or that). This means that a person can be moderately high in one area and low in another area, and they can vary in the different traits they exhibit.
Trait 1: Openness to experience or unconventionality
This trait reflects a toddler’s curiosity and willingness to explore new and different activities. Toddlers high in openness may enjoy trying new foods, playing with different toys, and engaging in imaginative play. Those on the other end of the spectrum may prefer sticking to what is already known or familiar to them.
Trait 2: Conscientiousness, or constraint vs. disinhibition
In toddlers, conscientiousness can be seen in their ability to follow routines, have persistence in tasks, or show self-control. A conscientious toddler may be more likely to put their toys away after playing or wait their turn during games. Toddlers on the other end of the spectrum may not enjoy routines and may have trouble following prescribed rules.
Trait 3: Extraversion vs. introversion
Extraverted toddlers may be social and energetic, and they may enjoy interacting with others. They may seek out playmates, thrive in group settings, and display enthusiasm in new social situations. On the other end of the spectrum, introverted toddlers may prefer playing alone and may seem more shy in social settings.
Trait 4: Agreeableness vs. antagonism
Agreeableness in toddlers can be observed through their level of empathy, cooperation, and kindness. Agreeable toddlers may easily share toys, comfort others, or display affection toward family members. Toddlers on the other end of the spectrum may be more antagonistic or invite more conflict into their daily lives.
Trait 5: Neuroticism, or emotional instability vs. stability
In young kids, neuroticism may present as moodiness, anxiety, or sensitivity. Toddlers with higher levels of neuroticism might have more frequent tantrums or seem stressed in unfamiliar situations. Toddlers on the other end of the spectrum may exhibit more emotional stability and resilience.
Start by closely observing your child. Examine how they interact with others and react in different situations. Note their preferences, such as whether they enjoy being around people or prefer solitary activities.
Pay close attention to:
- how they choose to play (alone or with groups?)
- how they react to change (do they adapt or resist?)
- what they enjoy doing (what are their favorite toys, books, or activities?)
- how they solve problems (do they seek help or figure it out on their own?)
While your little one may not have all the words, you might also consider asking your toddler about their likes or dislikes and their feelings about the world around them.
You can ask open-ended questions — ones that don’t have simple yes or no answers — to better understand their interests, thoughts, and motivations. For example, you might ask:
- How would you feel if we went to a brand new park or playground today?
- What parts of school do you enjoy the most?
- What would you like to do today?
Toddler behavior and emotions can be unpredictable. One day, your child may be carefree and playful. The next, they may throw several tantrums without clear cause.
For some young kids, behavior issues are just a passing phase as they start to learn and test healthy boundaries. For others, they may be a sign of a bigger concern that needs addressing.
Speak with your pediatrician if you suspect your child may have behavioral issues. According to the
- throwing frequent tantrums or displaying irritability
- expressing worry or fear
- experiencing headaches or tummy aches
- having trouble sitting still or quiet
- sleeping too little or too much
- showing disinterest in making friends
- experiencing challenges in preschool
- engaging in repetitive behaviors, like stimming or checking things several times
None of these signs indicate that something is fundamentally “wrong” with your child, only that they may benefit from a variety of mental health supports. It’s also possible for physical conditions to affect a child’s behavior, especially if they don’t have words to express the pain or discomfort they are experiencing.
A person’s personality is shaped by genetics and the world around them (environmental factors). Your child’s personality is likely to shift and change with new experiences or situations they encounter throughout life. In other words, your toddler’s personality is not set in stone.
Specifically related to the Big Five, researchers explain that children also experience changes in each personality trait as they grow. In fact, according to 2022 research, studies have shown that a child’s extraversion, agreeableness, conscientiousness, stability, and openness may decrease from childhood to adolescence and may change again into adulthood.
It can be interesting to observe your toddler’s emerging personality through the lens of the Big Five traits. But it’s important to remember that your child’s personality will continue to evolve as they grow and encounter new experiences. If you notice behaviors that concern you, it’s always best to reach out to your pediatrician for support.