Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development states that at each stage, we face a crisis. By resolving it, we develop psychological strengths that help us become confident and healthy people.
You might recognize the name Erik Erikson from parenting magazines. He was best known for his theory of psychosocial development, a fancy phrase that refers to how a person’s individual needs (psycho) mesh with the needs or demands of society (social).
Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development gives us a way to view the development of a person through an entire life span.
But, like all theories, it has its limitations. Erikson does not describe the exact way in which you can resolve conflicts, nor does he detail how you move from one stage to the next. Similarly, it’s been critiqued due to its lack of consideration for differences across cultures.
Regardless, as you read through the
Birth to 18 months old
The first stage of
In their early stage, your little one is entirely dependent on you for everything: food, warmth, comfort. Be there for your baby by giving them physical care and plenty of love — no need to hold back the cuddles.
You teach them to depend on you by providing these basic needs, developing their psychological belief in trust. When they feel secure and safe, your infant will be ready to experience the world.
We all slip up, though. Maybe you yell once in a while, or you don’t want to read another bedtime story. Don’t worry. Erikson acknowledges that we’re only human.
No infant grows up in a perfect world. Occasional turbulence gives your child a touch of wariness, preparing them for life’s obstacles.
But if a child grows up with parents who are unpredictable and unreliable, there can be lasting effects. Children whose needs aren’t met will look at the world with anxiety, fear, and mistrust.
18 months to 3 years old
You know that you’ve hit this milestone when your toddler starts asserting their independence. They realize they can do some things by themselves and insist on doing those things.
Instead of worrying if your day care will question your parenting abilities because your toddler is wearing their shoes on the wrong feet (after putting them on themselves), take a breath and let them be.
At this stage, your toddler is developing preferences. Let them choose their own snacks, which shirt to wear, and what book to read. Sure, there’ll be times when their clothes just don’t match. Grin and bear it because giving them the space to choose means helping them build their self-esteem.
This stage also means your toddler is ready for toilet training. While this takes a lot of patience, learning to manage their bodily functions gives them a feeling of independence or autonomy.
Children who come through this stage with flying colors will believe in themselves and feel secure in their abilities. Conversely, those who don’t get the chance to assert themselves (within the limits you set) may have feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
3 to 5 years old
These are the preschool years. As your child interacts socially and plays with others, they learn to take the initiative and manage what happens.
You can encourage your child to plan, achieve goals, and take responsibility by making sure they have plenty of opportunities to interact with others. Let them explore the world within the limits you set for them.
And don’t forget that you can be a playmate, too. Give your child a chance to direct the show by letting them be the teacher, doctor, or sales clerk while you act as a student, patient, or customer.
This is also the stage when your child starts asking endless questions. Sometimes, just when you have settled down to relax, your tiny philosopher will wonder where dogs go after they die. Try to stay calm and patient, because addressing these questions with genuine interest shows your child that you’re invested in their needs.
By interacting with others socially and through play, your child develops self-confidence and learns to enjoy having a sense of purpose.
However, enforcing decisions or not supporting your child when they make decisions may not equip them to take the initiative. They may lack ambition and could be filled with guilt. Overpowering feelings of guilt can prevent your child from interacting with others and deter their creativity.
5 to 12 years old
Your child has hit elementary school. This is where they’ll learn new skills and widen their circle of influence.
While exposed to new teachers and peers, your child may start comparing themselves to others. If they decide that they’re doing well scholastically, on the sports field, in the arts, or socially, your child will develop feelings of pride and accomplishment.
However, if you notice that your child struggles in one area, look for another area in which they can shine. Help your kiddo develop their strengths in areas where they have a natural flair.
While they may not be math whizzes, maybe they can draw or sing. Are they naturally patient with younger kids? Let them help out with taking care of their siblings. Show them that their strengths are worth being proud of.
When your child succeeds, they’ll feel industrious and believe they can set goals and reach them. However, if children have repeated negative experiences at home or feel that society is too demanding, they may develop feelings of inferiority.
12 to 18 years old
Adolescence. Here’s your chance to revamp the deep breathing skills you developed when your child was a toddler.
At this psychosocial development stage, your child faces the challenge of developing a sense of self. They form their identity by examining their beliefs, goals, and values.
The questions they face aren’t easy to answer: Who am I? What do I want to work as? How do I fit into society? What’s happening to my body? Most adolescents will explore different roles and ideas on their journey to self, and it’s important to allow them to do this freely.
While Erikson isn’t clear on how you can help your adolescent resolve this psychological conflict, know that the encouragement and reinforcement you give your child are vital to shaping their personal identity. This stage has a
Adolescents who successfully weather this crisis will have a strong sense of identity. They’ll be able to uphold these values despite the challenges that they’ll face in the future.
But when adolescents don’t search for their identity, they may not develop a strong sense of self and won’t have a clear picture of their future. The same confusion may reign supreme if you, as their parent, try to pressure them to conform to your own values and beliefs.
18 to 40 years old
Remember we said that each stage builds on the next? People with a strong sense of identity are now ready to share their lives with others.
This is the time to invest in commitment to others. According to Erikson, the psychosocial challenge now is building long term, safe, loving relationships.
When people successfully complete this stage, they have stable relationships filled with commitment and support. Erikson’s theory states that people who couldn’t manage to complete the previous stage and lack a sense of identity are generally unable to build these committed relationships.
Without the security and warmth of a loving relationship, they’re more likely to experience loneliness and depression.
Learn more about how to recognize and get over commitment issues.
40 to 65 years old
This seventh stage is characterized by a need to give to others. For example, this could look like raising children, caring for family members, or contributing to community charities.
In the workplace, people strive to do well and to be productive. Don’t stress if you can’t find the time to fit it all in — you may have to wait until the little people in your house are no longer so demanding.
People who complete this stage successfully have the satisfaction of knowing that they are needed. They feel that they’re contributing to their families, community, and workplace.
However, without positive feedback in these areas, people may experience stagnation. Frustrated that they’re unable to raise a family, succeed at work, or contribute to society, they may feel disconnected. They may not feel motivated to invest in personal growth or in productivity.
Over 65 years old
This is the stage of reflection. During late adulthood, when the pace of life slows down, people look back on their lives to assess what they’ve achieved. People who are proud of what they’ve done experience genuine satisfaction.
However, people who didn’t complete the previous stages
Interestingly, this last stage, according to Erikson, is one of flux, with people often alternating between feelings of satisfaction and regret. Looking back on life to get a sense of closure can help to face death without fear.
| Stage | Conflict | Age | Desired outcome |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | trust vs. mistrust | birth to 18 months | a sense of trust and security |
| 2 | autonomy vs. shame & doubt | 18 months to 3 years | feelings of independence lead to belief in yourself and your abilities |
| 3 | initiative vs. guilt | 3 to 5 years | self-confidence; the ability to take the initiative and make decisions |
| 4 | industry vs. inferiority | 5 to 12 years | feelings of pride and accomplishment |
| 5 | identity vs. confusion | 12 to 18 years | a strong sense of identity; a clear picture of your future |
| 6 | intimacy vs. isolation | 18 to 40 years | safe relationships filled with commitment and love |
| 7 | generativity vs. stagnation | 40 to 65 years | the desire to give to family and community, and to succeed at work |
| 8 | integrity vs. despair | over 65 years | pride in what you’ve achieved leads to feelings of satisfaction |
Erikson believed that his theory was a “tool to think with rather than a factual analysis.”
Instead of taking these eight stages as fact, use them as a starting point you use to help your child develop the psychosocial skills they need to become a successful person. Each stage builds on the previous one, so supporting them through each stage is an important part of healthy psychological development.