How to Cope with Menopause Grief

What is “menopause grief?”

Menopause often isn’t just a physiological journey — it can be an emotional one, too. Grief is one emotion you may feel during this process.

Menopause grief can involve feelings of sadness, loss, or mourning. You may feel grief during menopause for various reasons, and whatever you’re feeling is completely valid.

Grief is a common response to change, and menopause can feel like a huge life change for some people. The process also has wide-ranging systemic effects on the body, and some of these effects, like sleep disruption, can significantly affect mood.

Coping strategies for menopause grief

The most helpful strategies for managing grief will vary between people, and you may already have a preferred method. If not, here are a few initial strategies to try:

Physical self-care

Taking care of our bodies is especially important during menopause, but it’s best not to put too much pressure on yourself when you’re experiencing grief and low mood symptoms. Even small actions can make a big difference.

Sleep hygiene

Grief may cause sleep difficulties, and menopause often leads to insomnia. Because getting 7 to 9 hours of sleep per night is important for mental health, it might help to try to create a relaxing bedtime routine if you don’t have one already.

For example, some people find it helpful to read, meditate, or journal before going to sleep.

Other factors that may help boost your sleep quality include:

• avoiding eating large meals before bed
• limiting the use of electronic devices at least 1 hour before sleep
• keeping your bedroom cool

Eating well

If you’re experiencing grief or symptoms of depression, you might have a reduced appetite. Still, it’s best to try to make sure you eat nutritious foods that provide energy, which you may feel low on. Certain foods may even help lift your mood.

It’s also best to limit alcohol consumption, as alcohol can worsen overall sleep quality and contribute to symptoms of low mood.

The healing properties of a nutritious diet are also associated with:

• reduced feelings of stress
• a lower risk of illness
• improved cognitive function
• reduced inflammation

If you’re not sure where to start, ask yourself what your favorite fruit, vegetable, or meal is. Maybe you can dedicate some time in your day to prepare your favorite nutritious foods.

Regular exercise

Although it can be hard to find the motivation to be active when you’re feeling low, physical activity may help.

Regular exercise is associated with a better mood and improved quality of life, and it may even help with sleep.

It’s best to try to get at least 30 minutes of physical activity most days, but this is just a goal. If that amount sounds like too much right now, just focus on increasing your activity levels in general.

This might mean a small change, like taking a daily walk around the block.

You can invite a friend or family member to join you, especially if you want extra encouragement, but it’s OK if you’d rather be alone, too.

Emotional support and self-compassion

It might be helpful to seek emotional support from your loved ones, particularly if any of them have had similar experiences.

Sometimes, you might feel guilty about the idea of “burdening” others with your feelings or worries, but the people who love you rarely experience this as a burden. Usually, they want to support you as much as they can.

You might also want to try joining a support group, in person or online, to connect with others who are feeling similarly. Or you might prefer to speak with a mental health professional.

It’s important to validate your feelings instead of casting them aside. This can involve showing yourself compassion and remembering that you have every right to feel what you’re feeling.

Reframing menopause

Historically, in Western culture, menopause hasn’t been widely spoken about or openly acknowledged.

This can lead people to know little about it other than its best-known symptoms, and to have mostly negative associations with the process as a result.

It might help to reframe these learned thought patterns a little, considering whether there could be any aspects of this time of change that may be positive or exciting.

For example, it might open up unexpected new aspects of your identity or lead you to discover a new hobby, interest, or ambition.

Through managing grief, you might also learn more about yourself. It may help to celebrate all of the wisdom and knowledge you’ve gained throughout your life and the knowledge you’ll continue to gain.

When to seek additional help for menopause grief

It’s common to experience grief or sadness during menopause. But if you experience persistent grief that significantly affects your quality of life, it’s best to speak with a doctor for additional support.

They can offer more personalized advice and recommend treatment, if needed. For example, they might refer you to a mental health professional who can provide grief counseling. Some counselors might even specialize in menopause-related grief.

Other reasons to seek additional help include if:

• you experience symptoms of depression or anxiety that interfere with your day-to-day life
• physical menopause symptoms are severe
• you have thoughts of self-harm or suicide

Takeaway

Menopause is often both a physical and emotional journey. While it’s natural to feel grief during change, you can take steps to help manage these feelings.

It’s important to take care of yourself physically and to seek the emotional support you need. It might also help to try to reframe some of your thinking about postmenopausal life.

If feelings of grief are persistent and affecting your quality of life, it’s best to contact a doctor for additional support.