Before moving forward with a cosmetic procedure that promises to reduce signs of skin aging, have an honest conversation with yourself about what graceful aging means to you.

Watching yourself age can be an emotional experience. No matter how often people say that beauty is more than skin deep, seeing fine lines and wrinkles can bring up sadness and frustration for some.

“When we look in the mirror, we confront ourselves,” says psychologist and registered dietitian Ellen Albertson, who specializes in working with women over 50 on appearance and body changes. You may be “confronting the fact that you’re not happy with your appearance.”

This can have a major emotional toll. Your appearance is your calling card to the world, your first method of presenting and expressing yourself to others.

While looks aren’t everything, how you look is a deeply personal matter. If you’re unhappy with it, it can impact everything, including your mood, motivation, and desire for social engagement.

One solution to aging is to start or continue cosmetic procedures. But how do you know when enough is enough?

Worrying about aging may seem trivial compared to troubles happening elsewhere, but Albertson advises not to invalidate your feelings around aging.

“All feelings give you information,” Albertson says. “It’s a good opportunity to think deeper about what’s bothering you … when we stuff our emotions down, they do not go away.”

On top of that, there are very real social consequences to aging that often go overlooked, putting the onus on the individual to “keep their chin up” in the face of it all.

According to a 2020 research review, past studies suggest age is associated with:

  • health
  • mental stress
  • thinking ability
  • longevity
  • well-being

A certain stigma exists around aging, and in American culture, ageism is common when it really shouldn’t be. These are all significant loads to bear that go much deeper than simple vanity.

As you navigate your experience of growing older, you may want to consider procedures that can help you soften the effects of aging.

According to a 2020 report from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, some of the most common cosmetic procedures in this category include:

Facelifts or chin augmentations are surgeries, while Botox, injections, and laser skin resurfacing are considered minimally invasive.

Essentially, they all promise the same thing: To help restore youthful skin. What that means varies based on the individual, and none are miracle procedures, meaning they can’t cure skin aging.

“There are treatments we can do to reverse sun damage and some of the aging process or slow it down with new technologies to boost collagen and elastin,” says Dr. Roberta del Campo, a board certified dermatologist and founder of Del Campo Dermatology and Laser Institute.

“However, there’s nothing on the market that can overpower what our DNA does, which is age over time.”

What’s more, minimally invasive procedures like Botox are not one-time, quick fixes.

“Many of these treatments … require regular follow-ups for consistent results in the form of younger, firmer, and smoother skin,” says cosmetic dermatologist Dr. Michele Green.

Before starting a treatment, it’s essential to have an honest conversation with a professional to ensure it can meet your needs. Del Campo notes that every person ages differently.

Bringing pictures of your desired results to the consultation may help with your decision making process, but only to a point.

“This can be helpful only if the patient understands that there is no guarantee that a surgeon can make them look like somebody else,” says Dr. Alexander Zuriarrain, a board certified plastic surgeon with Zuri Plastic Surgery.

After speaking with your dermatologist or surgeon, you’ll want to decide how — or if — to proceed.

Common reasons for opting out of procedures include:

  • cost
  • time
  • potential side effects, such as bruising
  • dissatisfaction with previous results
  • the desire for less invasive procedures
  • the desire to age naturally

Costs of procedures will vary based on where you live and what professional you use.

For instance, del Campo says Botox costs about $800 per session on average. Sessions usually last 10 minutes but need to be maintained. Expect to go back about every 3 months for upkeep.

When deciding whether or not to proceed with a treatment, experts suggest asking yourself some questions:

Why am I doing this?

The old cliche goes that it’s what’s on the inside that counts. But sometimes, appearance can affect how you feel.

Even if you don’t care so much about how you look to others, you may still care about how you look (and feel) when you catch a glimpse of your reflection.

“Is it benefiting you on a superficial level, or is it going to help you in terms of your confidence, putting your best foot forward? What do you want to get out of this, and is this really going to do that for you?” Albertson suggests asking yourself.

But Albertson has also seen this perspective backfire.

“You can feel like you are less confident because you are showing up as an imposter or feeling fake,” Albertson said.

If you feel that way after receiving a treatment, you may want to re-evaluate whether it’s worth continuing. But remember, your feelings are valid, and there’s no reason to try to shut them down.

Am I OK with potential complications?

Albertson notes that any procedure has risks, and del Campo says healing times can vary depending on the person.

“Some people say, ‘I don’t want to deal with a week of healing. I have too much going on,’” del Campo says.

Are my goals realistic?

Remember, you can’t completely stop time, nor can you reverse the aging process. It’s a natural part of life.

“I tell my patients that there are many procedures that will help them age gracefully, but it’s not possible to remove every brown spot or every wrinkle,” says Dr. Elaine Kung, a dermatologist and founder of Future Bright Dermatology. “We can probably achieve turning back the clock five to 10 years.”

After an honest conversation with the medical professional, note what they can and cannot do for you. Use that information to help inform your decision.

Is this an enjoyable experience?

Procedures and treatments can provide a mental boost — and that’s a good thing.

But if it’s becoming tiresome or taking away from other activities you enjoy more, you may want to reconsider.

“I go with the guidance of a patient’s emotions,” says del Campo. “When I feel it’s too much of a hassle, they’re not enjoying it anymore, and it’s too much of a burden for them, I [discuss home remedies].”

If you decide to stop receiving cosmetic treatment, you can still practice physical and mental self-care.

At-home skin care options

Lifestyle and skin care tweaks can help you slow aging and feel your best. Experts recommend:

  • Finding the right products: Del Campo advises patients to look for products with vitamin A (retinol) and vitamins C and E to minimize environmental damage. You could also try chemical peels and dermarolling (microneedling), which professionals can also perform.
  • Dietary changes: Loading up on foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids, like walnuts and salmon, and antioxidants like berries, can help you improve your appearance from the inside out, del Campo says.
  • LED light therapy: Light therapy (phototherapy) targets wrinkles and age spots but doesn’t use UV rays, del Campo says. A dermatologist can help you find the best device for your skin.
  • Wear sunscreen: Green advises people to use a broad-spectrum SPF of 30 or higher daily and reapply every 2 hours to help prevent sunspots, age spots, and wrinkles. It’ll also reduce your risk of skin cancer.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported that people ages 45 to 64 had the second highest rate of depression symptoms of any age group in the United States in 2019.

Though depression can affect anyone, regardless of gender identity and sex, the same report indicated that women were more likely to show depression symptoms than men.

While the reason for this isn’t clear, it’s possible for aging to play a role in mental health concerns.

Albertson says it’s important to focus on the emotions underneath the surface rather than outward appearance. Try the tips below.

Look beyond appearance

Focus on other qualities, hobbies, and aspects of your life that don’t revolve around your skin. “Looks are not the most important thing about you,” Albertson says.

Focus on other ways to care for yourself

Looking older doesn’t mean you have to feel older. You can find other ways to care for your body, mind, and emotions as you age to help you feel full of life, vitality, and youth.

Focus on exercise appropriate for your body and skill level, get enough quality sleep, and turn your attention toward satisfying and gratifying hobbies.

Stay social

Humans are social creatures, and maintaining relationships and connections is just as important as you grow older. Doing so helps keep your mind active, which may help prevent cognitive decline.

A 2019 study of 60-year-olds found that those who visited with friends close to daily were 12% less likely to develop dementia compared with those who saw one or two friends every few months.

Change your media diet

Remember that models in magazines have access to more resources to treat body and skin aging, and editors still photoshop images regularly.

Likewise, filters have made it easier to cover up signs of aging on social media.

If you use social media regularly, try looking for accounts with diverse images and celebrate maturing skin and lifestyles, like @trainwithjoan. Accounts like hers are helpful reminders of embracing aging with grace.

Explore emotions

Sometimes, the appearance of maturing skin is simply the tip of the iceberg.

“You’re looking at mortality,” Albertson says. “You’re comparing yourself to an ideal and not measuring up. People I work with are like, ‘Oh my God, I’m not 26 anymore.’”

She notes that journaling can help people dig deeper into what’s bothering them.

Shift perspective

Lines and wrinkles can appear where you smile or laugh. Ask yourself: Would you trade those good times for smooth skin?

“See wrinkles as an expression of a life well-lived,” Albertson says.

Find a therapist

It’s common to feel emotions around aging, but if these emotions are affecting your day-to-day life, help is available.

Albertson suggests looking for a therapist who specializes in:

The physical effects of aging can bring on lots of emotions. Cosmetic procedures can help, but they can’t stop aging altogether.

At some point, you may choose to stop and let nature take its course for financial, physical, or emotional reasons. An honest conversation with your doctor or therapist can help you make the right decision.

Whatever you decide, know there are other ways to fill your cup, including eating well and working through your worries about aging with a mental health professional.

Beth Ann Mayer is a New York-based freelance writer and content strategist who specializes in health and parenting writing. Her work has been published in Parents, Shape, and Inside Lacrosse. She is a co-founder of digital content agency Lemonseed Creative and is a graduate of Syracuse University. You can connect with her on LinkedIn.