Dementia can lead to challenges with communication. It’s understandable to feel frustrated, but maintaining respect is crucial.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), about 4% of adults ages 65 years and older in the United States have received a dementia diagnosis. This number increases to more than 13% in adults ages 85 years and older.

Challenges with communication are a common symptom of dementia. People with dementia may have difficulty finding the right words, following a conversation, or understanding a request or question.

Whether you’re a hired caregiver or a loved one, learning how to communicate effectively with someone with dementia is essential for maintaining a low stress environment and preventing outbursts. It can also help you avoid burnout, particularly if you are the primary caregiver.

Here are 4 tips to help you communicate more effectively.

When trying to simplify language for a person with dementia, it’s not uncommon to accidentally use condescending language. This is known as elderspeak.

Common characteristics of elderspeak include:

  • using a high or singsong voice
  • speaking more loudly and slowly than usual
  • using terms such as “honey” and “sweetie” rather than calling the person by their name

A small 2017 study found that people with dementia were more likely to resist care and display challenging behaviors when caretakers used elderspeak.

It’s important to remember that while adjusting your communication style can be beneficial for a person with dementia, they still deserve to be treated as adults and with respect. This includes:

  • calling them by their name
  • using your regular tone of voice
  • allowing them to finish their sentences
  • engaging in conversations that include them and acknowledging their presence

Instead of assuming that people with dementia need a certain type of communication, consider each person’s unique needs. Some may benefit from slower speech and clearer language, while others may just need patience as they search for the right words.

Keep in mind that these needs can change from day to day. Assessing where the person is each day and adjusting your approach accordingly is key. For example, on some days, yes-or-no questions might be more effective than open-ended ones. On other days, you may need to repeat yourself using different words or different phrasing.

The goal is to remain flexible and adapt your communication strategies as needed.

It’s completely understandable if you feel impatient from time to time when speaking with someone with dementia. The conversation may move more slowly than you’re used to, and you might find that you need to repeat yourself more than once.

However, to help manage the person’s stress levels, it’s crucial that you try to avoid interrupting them, finishing their sentences, or raising your voice.

When someone with dementia feels stressed or overwhelmed, they are more likely to display agitation or aggression. Patience and a warm demeanor are key for maintaining a stable and calm atmosphere.

Nonverbal communication (methods of communication that do not involve speaking) can also be helpful when you’re talking with someone who has dementia.

For example, if the person is having trouble coming up with the right word and is beginning to feel frustrated, they may find it reassuring if you take their hand or gently place your hand on their shoulder.

This act can help provide comfort and assurance that you’re interested in what they’re saying and that you’re not bothered by their changing needs.

Body language is an important aspect of nonverbal communication. Helpful body language may include:

  • sitting or standing close to them, as long as this does not intrude on their personal boundaries
  • positioning yourself so that they can see your face and mouth
  • making eye contact
  • sitting or standing face-to-face rather than standing over them
  • smiling
  • using hand gestures, such as pointing, using thumbs-up or thumbs-down, and displaying numbers with your fingers

It’s also important to notice the person’s body language and to try to interpret when they may be feeling stressed, uncomfortable, or upset so that you can help meet their needs even when they’re having trouble expressing those needs.

The key to effective communication with someone who has dementia is to remain respectful, patient, and adaptable. Some nonverbal cues can also help the person feel at ease and provide additional ways to communicate your thoughts or questions.

Frustration is a natural part of the process, but making an effort to keep your tone friendly and calm is key to help the person stay calm and to boost their self-esteem.