Some research suggests that ADHD may lead to lower or higher than average levels of empathy. Therapy and medication can help you reach appropriate levels.
Empathy is the ability to acknowledge and understand someone’s emotions. Empathizing with someone means you feel with them.
Some symptoms associated with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) — such as restlessness, impulsive behavior, and difficulty paying attention — may suggest a lack of empathy, explains Zishan Khan, MD, a child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist with Mindpath Health.
Of course, none of this means that you don’t share, understand, or care about others’ feelings. In fact, Khan emphasizes that many people with ADHD are highly empathetic.
Empathy is both a trait you’re born with and a skill — or social response — that you can cultivate. There are two types:
- Cognitive empathy is a basic understanding of other people’s feelings. It allows you to pick up on changes in voice, facial expression, or body language that might suggest what someone else thinks or feels.
- Affective empathy, also called emotional empathy, allows you to share another person’s emotional experiences, or feel “with” them. This type of empathy may help fuel acts of compassion and kindness.
Having less empathy could present as:
- finding it difficult to understand how other people feel
- having a hard time forgiving mistakes
- blurting things out without considering the potential impact of your words
- acting on impulse without thinking about how your behavior might affect other people
- having little interest in other people’s opinions or perspectives
- feeling frustrated or confused by other people’s emotional reactions
While having lower levels of empathy can make it harder to understand other people’s emotions and experiences, it doesn’t make you a “bad” person.
Some limited evidence does suggest a potential link between ADHD and lower emotional (affective) empathy.
A 2022 review of studies found that some individuals with ADHD scored lower on a scale measuring emotional intelligence (EQ). Specifically, they had lower scores in tasks that measured nonverbal cues used to express emotions through speech, especially when it came to recognizing angry statements.
They also scored lower in intermodal skills, which are the ability to process information from multiple senses simultaneously.
A small 2021 study found that individuals with ADHD had a smaller volume of the area in the brain associated with emotional empathy compared to those without ADHD.
On the other hand, a different 2021 study found that there was no association between low cognitive empathy and ADHD.
Difficulty understanding or relating to others may contribute to tension or conflict in your relationships. Good communication skills can improve your bonds and help you create lasting connections.
It may help to:
- Explain how your symptoms show up: This could mean telling friends and loved ones you don’t mean to cut them off or take over a conversation — you just get extremely focused on what you’re saying. Or, you might say you have a hard time keeping track of things that people tell you, but you do fine with written dates and plans.
- Ask more questions: Pausing to ask someone what they think gives you the chance to connect, learn their perspective, and practice active and reflective listening.
- Pay attention to body language cues: Body language can offer a lot of insight into what someone thinks and feels. Someone who nods along and faces you with an open, relaxed posture is likely pretty interested in what you’re saying. On the other hand, you might consider asking a question or changing the subject if the person is half-turned away or on their phone.
- Share your needs: This might involve letting your loved ones know how they can help. For instance, you might say, “I usually run late because I get caught up in something and lose track of time, not because I forgot our plans. When we make plans where time really matters, could you please tell me to come 30 minutes early?”
- Practice getting vulnerable: Becoming more comfortable expressing your emotions openly could help you connect more deeply with others and improve your relationships.
A therapist can offer guidance with:
- identifying specific symptoms and their impact
- learning ways to manage those symptoms more effectively
- practicing communication skills to share your needs with the people in your life
- exploring ideas to connect with others in meaningful ways
- unpacking any concerns that you have about a lack of empathy
Sandra Calzadilla, LMHC, explains, “Think of it this way: Can you go to the gym and work out on your own? Sure, but if you feel you need more assistance in what exercises you need to do, how often, and for how long, an expert can keep you on track to meeting your goals.”
For instance, if you frequently run late, a therapist might help you explore potential triggers, like getting distracted by things around the house, and identify a few changes you could make to stick to your schedule.
Medication
A small
According to the study, this medication increases levels of the brain chemicals dopamine and norepinephrine, helping decrease impulsiveness and increase attention in people with ADHD.
Methylphenidate won’t automatically boost empathy since empathy is a learned skill. But treating ADHD symptoms could make it easier to consider potential consequences of one’s words and actions or help one emotionally connect with others without getting distracted.
Hypersensitivity is a common trait in people with ADHD, according to Zoe Martinez, MD, a board certified psychiatrist and clinical leader at Done.
You might be hypersensitive to information in your environment or find it harder to filter sensory input you receive from others — including subtle emotional cues, like changes in facial expressions or tone of voice.
This higher sensitivity to emotional energy can quickly drain you in stimulating social situations. It might also mean you:
- feel intensely affected by others’ emotions and moods and have difficulty in situations where others express strong emotions
- feel detached when another person shows an intense emotional reaction
- try to avoid overly emotional situations
- have trouble setting boundaries when people share intense emotions
- withdraw from others to protect yourself
- find it difficult to manage or control your emotions when you feel overwhelmed
If you’re trying to navigate heightened empathy and sensitivity, Khan and Calzadilla advise:
- making time to journal about your emotions
- practicing mindfulness techniques to help you identify and manage emotional discomfort effectively
- learning to set boundaries in relationships to protect yourself emotionally and preserve your energy
- using exercise, deep breathing, or meditation to ease stress in emotionally charged situations
The ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and understand their feelings can allow you to respond in a kind, loving, and compassionate way, which can ultimately strengthen your relationships.
If you find it tough to relate to others emotionally, acknowledge their feelings, and express your own emotions, a therapist can teach communication techniques and strategies to cultivate greater empathy.
Rebecca Strong is a Boston-based freelance writer covering health and wellness, fitness, food, lifestyle, and beauty. Her work has also appeared in Insider, Bustle, StyleCaster, Eat This Not That, AskMen, and Elite Daily.